I allow you to be human
by MzaleYao
Summary: The Gazer gives the arisen and his pawns a hard time. As they get back to Duskmoon Tower and is treated by his pawn he reflects upon his situation, his past as well as the fact he's in a rather unstable age, and his pawn is very attractive. Can pawns feel as humans? Is the man that calls him "Master" really just a hollow image of a human, or is there something human deep down?


**Author's notes (not story related. Not in rant mood, skip it):**

At the same time I don't want to be thrown out of this site, I must state my utter annoyance with the text editor... I write all my stories with yWriter5 and export everything as .txt, but STILL this damn editor won't add correct word-wrapping, no matter how I import it... And don't get me started at importing RTF5... I understand the main problem is because it's HTML-based and the P-tags fucks it up, as always when you use HTML based text editors. But common... If Dreamweaver can read plain text without problem, a program made to create tags, why can't these?... Third world problems, but, FUCK, it annoys me...

My advice for a limited text entry option: There are modules that treats text as plain text. Make a FORM-tag that contains five of those fudgers and maybe give options for horizontal lines or stuff to break them off. Build like this (but vertically):  
>Label | optional AN | ev. hor. line | Chapter title (with optional B<em>I<em>U) | ev. hor. line | Content | ev. hor. line | optional AN  
>This way I don't have to SPEND AN HOUR ON EDITING AFTER ALREADY EDITING!<p>

There... Done... On with story... I don't earn money on this piece, therefore you cannot sue me. K tnx bye.'

_**~¤*Under the moonlight*¤~**_

"Am I to become... A living statue?"

"Arisen, beware of its gaze!"

The Gazer floated in the circular hall, giant and had a sickening blue-purple colour to it. Its tentacles surrounded Koul and his pawns. They had nowhere to run and they all stood to be gazed upon by the grotesque eye in its mouth. Truly, Arisen or not, never had Koul seen anything so... Massive... Gross to a level of impressiveness.

"'Tis a troubling foe..." he heard Alexander curse not far away. The large hunk of a man tore through the tentacles with his large sword as if they were only vines, but still, they had the lower hand. He saw Malcovich stricken into a million pieces of stone and Eveline thrown with a high-pitched cry over the edge down to the ground. There was not a single hope of rescuing her.

That was it, their cue to leave. He called out, but no one responded. Though the pawns were immortal, there was still the sickening feeling of seeing them fall in battle. And he had witnessed Alexander fallen once already because of Koul's carelessness, he would not do it again. He ran to his side and rose his bow. He charged... And charged... And just as his six magical arrows were to be released the a slimy tentacle grabbed his middle and held him up high. He saw his blonde companion rush towards him, but too late. Koul was slammed to the ground and heard a heart crushing cry from the pawn not far away. Strong hands grabbed him, holding him tight, and his head bounced as Alexander ran. The door to the level above was his only indication that he would live to see tomorrow. With that, he allowed himself to pass out.

He woke to the soothing scent of harspud, the sharp taste of it making his very being tingle. His face was held by warm naked hands and his pulp lips covered with another's, carefully feeding him the sticky, rejuvenating liquids. As he opened his eyes and saw the white light of the moon and Alexander's blonde hair, he let himself relax and let him continue his administrations.

Koul let his thoughts wander as he was fed. Back to the days of Cassardis, to Quina, to Valmiro. He was the younger of the three friends, yet still, he was the one to be the Arisen. To raise a sword in need as Grigori burned the shores of his home. The dragon had killed him, ripped out his heart, eaten it, then made his life hell. His life was easy back then. He and his cousins spent their days fishing, creating, building, and Koul's personal favourite, drawing. They had their life's ahead as fishermen of Cassardis... But Grigori stole it from them... Now Valmiro had gone, Quina spent her days with the Order of the Faith, Koul was fighting against one impossible odd against the next, each monster more terrifying than the other. When Death stood before him at the Garden of Ignominy, he was sure that Gransys was sure to be hell before long. And what did he have left? A home? No. His cousins? No. Only his title of being an Arisen, and from what he understood, he was not the only one. Other worlds has their own, Koul knew that better than anyone, because the pawns he commanded were theirs. How many pawns had he used already? How many had he called forth and then thrown away? Soulless vessels of meat... Was that what they all were? He spoke to them, asked them questions, they did not sleep, just temporarily returned to the rift and then came back to him... Or at least that was how they were supposed to act. He had been told from the beginning that other Arisen would use his pawn and send regards depending on his performance, but never had Alexander left his side. He could wake up in the middle of the night and Alexander would still be there, silently watch over him, pace the room in thoughts, care for their equipment or, what Koul suspected, mimic his sleeping form in a free bed, were there any. When he confronted his pawn, he was not met by that cold and direct answer any other pawn would give him. He would stammer and blush. Barnaby had told him on occasion that Alexander was a curious pawn and therefore he mimic human emotions and reactions. A fair assumption, but the way his pawn acted towards him, the many glances and smiles and the fact that he had never heard a pawn laugh, but Alexander did it often. The way he would begin to reach out to pat his shoulder when he made a good shot with his bow but then retract it made Koul believe that maybe, just maybe, Alexander was special? Alexander had never touched him if not to steady him, but now, he used his mouth and hands to save his life.

Koul opened his eyes and watched the heartbroken expression on his pawn's face. Mimic or not, the look on his face could've belonged to a sibling, parent, dear friend or lover...

"Al-" Koul began but was interrupted by a coughing fit. He felt his dark, black hair stick to his eyes and realised that his face was covered wuth blood and the treatment had made his body sweat. He still felt stinging from where his body had been stricken as the harspud's juices healed him.

"Master, do not fret. You are safe. I shall fetch water to clean you." the usual monotone voice told him as he was put down on a patch of grass. He realised as he watched his pawn rush over to the running water that they were at the Duskmoon Tower. Glancing up, he saw Barroch's black and red form, his blond hair swaying back and forth as he regarded the heap that was Koul. He had said a week at maximum and this was the sixth day since he entered the Bitterblack Isle. He felt defeated indeed.

"Please, ignore him, master. He do not know your strength." Alexander said as he used a cloth to clean his master's face.  
>"My strength, eh? My iron will?" he asked and gained a smile from the pawn.<br>"Perhaps your sense of loyalty and devotion, master."  
>"Does that not make me equal a pawn?"<br>"In another world, a pawn has fought Grigori and won, does that make it an Arisen?"

Alexander kept smiling as he cleaned his master thoroughly, drying his hair and face with a mother's care. He felt so small and powerless. He was young, not even in his later teens, and he was short even for his age. When standing straight, he was often met my the abs of his giant companion, whom was the opposite of himself. Alexander was tall. A giant is the right word for him indeed. His shoulders were a third wider than those of normal normal men and his very presence would be formidable were he not the kindest and most caring pawn Koul could imagine.

Koul was young, and being young came with certain disadvantages. Amongst those, his favourite was the sexual growth, with disrespect as close second. He was brave beyond many grown men, but looked down upon as a child was often an issue. But the sexual growth was something else. It was something that made him question his very being, his every fiber of sanity as well as his decisions. Valmiro had given him advice on how to restrain it, but that did not make his pawn less beautiful. Alexander was a warrior, a light-weight warrior. His arms and waist were the only parts he covered as he seemingly could fly through the battlefield, slaying monsters. It fit his vocation, but it also fit Koul's desires.

"Alexander..." Koul said low and caught those blue, beautiful eyes.  
>"Yes, Arisen?" he answered, just as he should. He's a pawn.<br>"What are your thoughts of me?"  
>There it was, the blush, the redness that painted that angular face. Koul knew it was not simple mimics, that pawn of his was special, yet again...<br>"Arisen, I am not to speak my mind. I am a pawn, not a man."  
>He looked away. Keeping the moist cloth in the black hair of his master, gently rubbing it dry.<br>"I know that you are a pawn, I called for you through the rift many weeks ago, but you are not like other pawns..." he countered and hoped to get confirmation to his assumptions. The pawn met his gaze again. Could he see the desire in his eyes? If he did, he ignored it.  
>"I am a pawn, master. My interests are your safety and accomplishment."<br>"What more is of interest? Do tell me."  
>"You need to rest, master."<p>

He drew back, throwing the cloth to the side, seemingly finished. He carried his master towards the moonlight and sat down cross-legged, putting Koul in his lap. He could not help but find Alexander's lap a perfect fit for him. Ever since the day he called out the rift he had seen that towering hunk as a perfect physical compromise to his own, and perhaps that was what made him so more attractive to him.

"I ask again, pawn; what more is of interest to you outside the rift?"  
>The pawn sighed soundly and looked up to the broken tower, letting the moon shower his features.<br>"You humans are interesting creatures. Your ways, art, sound and especially your actions."  
>"What actions?" Koul asked, sitting slightly more comfortable, leaning himself to the warm form of his pawn.<br>"This, for instance." he answered, gesturing as Koul rubbed his head to his chest, giving him a reason to blush as well.  
>"P-physical contact, you mean?"<br>"And the feelings it brings..." he ended. He had a face of confusion as he met Koul's. "I am a pawn. I do not know everything there is to, though I am certain that 'feeling' is not part of my nature. It makes me question my morale towards you, master. Images of me hurting you appear, images that makes me..." he paused and looked as if he tried to find the answer in his master's eyes.  
>Koul's throat thickened. Had he a heart, it would beat straight out of his chest. He took one of his pawn's hands and held it to his face.<br>"Is 'aroused' the word you are seeking?" he asked and the hand tensed.  
>"I know the word, but I know not its intention. Will 'feeling aroused' hurt you, master? Is it dangerous?"<p>

Koul laughed. His chest ached, but he still laughed at the strange question. His pawn made a perfect 'o' with his mouth and he clearly did not understand what his master found amusing.  
>"Oh, Alexander... Hahaha! A-aroused is not dangerous." he kept laughing as he spoke but soon fell down from the high. His pawn was clearly not amused, but he looked as if there was shame in his features.<br>"Feeling aroused is not dangerous. Though it might hurt, it is the very opposite of dangerous."  
>Alexander watched his master again as Koul sat back in his previous position. He toyed with the hand he held firmly and was deep in thought and anticipation.<br>"Master, what are those feelings? The images... I hurt you... I see you crying and wriggle beneath me, pulling my hair and even biting me. It is because I hurt you, is it not?"  
>Koul looked at the pained face of his pawn. He felt his life grow erect as his pawn clearly described having sex with him, mistaking the erotic bliss for pain and suffering.<br>"Master?"  
>"Have... Have you heard of sex between humans?" he asked and looked away.<br>"Sex. Again I know the word but not the intention. It is synonymous for reproducing."  
>"Do you know how humans do it?"<br>"I admit I do not. I am simply not educated in that subject more than as a pawn we cannot reproduce, would we engage in whatever action it takes."  
>Koul held back another laugh. This time he would listen to his body and do what it tells him. Sitting up, straddling his companion, he held his hands pressed to the warm chest and looked straight up into his pawn's eyes.<br>"What you described... Was you having sex with me..."  
>The blue eyes went wide and his body almost jumped as he clearly realised what he had been feeling and what he did to his master in his fantasies.<br>"Clam now, pawn! Let me explain!" Koul said as he held onto the strong body not to be shoved away.  
>"M-m-master! I'm sorry! I did not know what those images were. Do not judge this pawn as unfit!" he shouted desperately, and if Koul did not know better, he even shed a tear.<br>"Pawn, I will not judge you as such!... You are loyal to me only and you aid me when I need... You are special... No pawn I know has the ability to fantasise about such things..."  
>"It makes me weak, a stain on the rift!"<br>"It makes you... Human. Alexander, my pawn... If I am to choose, I want a pawn that cares for me, not my ambitions."

Koul stood with his feet between his pawn's legs. He was taller now, half a head taller at least. He held the pawn's cheeks in his hands and drowned in the blue eyes. He was beautiful. Just as the images he had drawn of men at home. Looking for perfection but using his cousins as templates. His desires, young want or not, drew him to kiss the wide, thin lips.  
>"Alexander, I, as Arisen of this world, give you permission to act human towards me. Use what you've learned, do what you've seen, act as you want and will." he stroke the blond hair and kissed his brow. "A more fitting synonym for sex is to 'make love'. If you desire it, I will accept it, because I too desire such."<p>

He sat down, again straddling his pawn. He drew closer and put his arms around him, leaning his ear to his chest, not expecting the heart beating inside. Though the body was just a vessel for a soulless consciousness, it had everything any human man would have; hair, eyes, heart, arms, nipples and, though he had never seen it, genitalia. As they naturally did not eat nor drink, their bowels probably made whatever they did consume evaporate, because never had he ever seen a pawn take a piss as they explored.

"M-master... Even though you give me you blessing I... I do not know how..."

Koul was not sure if it was mostly amusement or curiosity that drove him to gently drag his hands down the chest of his pawn. He clearly did not know how to have sex or whatever it might inspire more than the simple act. Did he even know that it made you feel pleasure? Well, soon enough he would find out.  
>Koul kept rubbing his hands over the pawns chest and abdomen. He could feel as he grew fully erect and aching already, but Alexander did not seem as easily aroused as himself.<p>

"Alexander, let us shed our clothes, lest they will be in the way..."

He unclasped the arm guards from Alexander's armour and then pulled off the narrow chains covering his arms and shoulders. The pawn soon followed suit, almost ripping off the doublet covering Koul's upper body. Before they had even realised they started, they had undressed each other and their bodies met for the first time with a large piece of Wool Cloth beneath them as they still sat. Koul didn't even bother to look closer on the probably magnificent body, whatever he would learn of his pawn would be by his hands. He closed his eyes and felt the muscular body, not soft nor hard. There was a clean silk feel of the skin he caressed and let his desires do whatever seemed needed to sate it. The deep hums of his pawn made him eager to continue and touch what seemingly grew between them.

"Touch me, Alexander." he said and pressed himself closer, feeling his erection stain the other's abdomen.  
>"M-master, I do no-"<br>"My name is Koul, Alexander." he stated firmly "When we are together like this, you are human just as much as me, not a pawn for me to control. Let your desires take over; your fantasies come true."  
>The pawn's breath stopped for a brief second. Clearly, calling his master something else than what he was clearly not in his nature. Koul opened his eyes and his red met the blue of the man he held, the face showered in the moonlight that graced their bodies.<br>"Call me my name. We are equal. Try it."  
>He hesitated, but after a few seconds he opened his mouth.<br>"Koul?"  
>"That's right! Now, do it again..." Koul told him and he slowly caressed his abdomen.<br>"Koul."  
>"More..."<br>He reached down and took hold of what would be considered impossible by most, but compared to his large physical form, seemingly average.  
>"Koul... Koul..."<p>

Alexander's hands carefully began searching the body of his master. Large as they were, it did not take long to have searched him to completion. Koul let his pleasure be heard. As Alexander chanted his name, for each time he expressed his enjoyment. He kept caressing the hardness in his hands, but his body wanted more, more pleasure, more intimacy, more Alexander.

"Alexander, will you penetrate me?"

The blond man bent his head and kissed him. He did it with a determination Koul had only felt on the battlefield, where Koul was his to aid and protect. Seemingly, he vowed the same oath during the moment they shared.  
>"Will it hurt you, mas-Koul?" he asked. His eyes were closed and he looked as if his whole mind were focused on the bliss of pleasure.<br>"Not if we prepare..." A white lie. It would hurt him, but he was sure he could endure it. The tool in his hand would not fit completely, but it would certainly please them both in the end. "I believe I gave you a bottle of Oak Leaf Oil earlier. Do you still have it?"  
>The pawn opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow, but he did reach not far from them to his discarded waist guard and produced the bottle.<br>"How should I prepare you? Where do I... Penetrate?"  
>Again, Koul stifled a laugh. He would probably be surprised.<br>"Listen carefully... Use half of the bottle over my bottom and carefully use your fingers to loosen me up."  
>"... Excuse me, master, is this wise?" Alexander questioned with a rather chocked expression though Koul ignored it.<br>"After you have made me loose enough, use the rest on your penis and then penetrate me slowly. Do not worry, I will guide you so that I will not hurt." he reached up and took hold of the blond hair. "Trust me... I will love the feeling of you inside me, be it fingers or other..."

Koul had never felt Oak Leaf Oil on his skin before. It was warm and very sticky. It reminded him of oil and saliva as it ran down his thighs when nimble fingers carefully entered him. They massaged his opening roughly and occasionally tried to enter him. It took a few minutes of gasping and moaning, but eventually he was continuously and forcefully entered by two long fingers. He dragged it out almost for too long, the fingers inside in making his body almost give up control.

"A-alexand-AAH! Enough!"

Instantly the fingers left his anus, and the pawn looked down, obviously trying to keep himself in check. Koul smiled and let his body lower. He took the bottle from the ground where it had been put and gave the massive hardness in front of him a long and firm stroke then giving the tip a kiss so he could taste it beforehand. The musky smell and salty taste gave Koul's desires a final tease before he rubbed down the Oak Leaf Oil until he was sure that the penis was slick enough to enter.  
>As he looked up, he saw his pawn's face, dreamy and drooling, a sharp red colour covered parts of his face as he breathed heavily in pleasure, making Koul feel proud of himself, proud and pleased to be able to make him feel good.<br>"Mas-Koul... Is it time?" he asked when his master stood up and kissed his cheek.  
>"Yes, Alexander... Lower me onto you and enter me. Let me show you how good it feels to make love."<p>

Alexander did not wait. He firmly held Koul up by his chest with only his strong hands and painfully slowly put him onto his erection. It slid in without any struggle, but as they went deeper, Koul suddenly felt as it stretched him to his limits. He didn't tell him to stop, but just bit down and held his breath. He endured it until he was full, but it hurt. He let silent tears fall down as the pain took over. He knew it was temporary, but he was sure if he opened his mouth, he'd cry out loud.

"Koul... Koul, look at me, please..." he heard Alexander plead. He opened his eyes and saw those clear blue eyes for a split second before his pawn placed one hand to his cheek and kissed him passionately. He drew life from the kiss, savouring every time their tongues met, falling deeper and deeper into the bliss of having Alexander inside him, knowing it pleased his pawn as well as himself. He took hold of his neck and pulled himself up just a little bit and then relaxed to fall back down. It simply could not go deeper. His small body was not enough for the massive tool of his pawn's. They kissed still as he rode his pawn, finding rhythm before long and thrusting hips as well as arms around him joined to help the steadily increasing pace.

Koul broke the kiss as he needed to focus his breathing rather than pleasing. He took a firm grip of blonde hair and pulled himself down to the Wool Cloth, Alexander following. The pawn put its arms to lock his legs in the air and began thrusting roughly, making them both rock in sync as they pressed against each other, Koul's body crushing the ground. He moaned his pleasure, telling his pawn to give him more, to go deeper, to call his name. He peaked as he let his teeth grace the pink nipple in front of him. In his orgasm he gasped and called his pawn's name as he was kept being penetrated. He then felt it, not long after his own Alexander also came, filling him at first, but slipping out as the sperm made his hole too slick to keep it in. Koul let go of his hair and instead reached down between them, squeezing the penis and stroking it so that it would spoil all it had to give. The warm sperm covered his hands as he toyed with his pawn's life and it finally gave up as Alexander's arms gave in. His hands, the penis as well as his body was crushed under the large man and he allowed it for a few minutes before telling him he needed air to live.

They lied down for some time. Koul fell asleep on top of him as the blanket of the moon covered them. Waking up felt refreshing to say the least and they kept smiling to one another as they stayed under the moonlight for a few moments, sharing a kiss, then returning to their duties.

**Fin~**

**Author's notes (story related this time):**

So, again I add these "in-betweeners" because I spend too much work on actual work than on my stories and then something like this just pops up in the middle of the night. I'm kind of happy with this piece because I feel like I captured the world of Dragon's Dogma rather well but in the light I prefer myself. I kinda want to continuing this story with some crazy ideas I have, like, what if Koul sacrifice his closest to Grigori and then lives on with his paws as Duke... And they have lots of fun!... Oh my god... PM me if you want to discuss eventual scenarios that could happen! I will not RP or such, but I am prepared for some co-op just to write something insane, but still readable (what I have in mind at the moment is... less readable by most... Muaha,...). Anyone that feels up to it, give me a shout and I'll might just react. Good way for me to get away from my work and actually do something else than being a work-o-holic.

Now take care and have fun!

Kisses and stuffs  
>Mzale


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